Stage 10: Jens Lets Us Down... Not Really

We make no secret of our man-crush on Jens Voigt. So, I'm a little bit ticked that Voigt didn't win that final sprint, and instead some stupid French guy took home the stage win (actually, Cedric Vasseur). Vasseur steals the glory which is rightfully Voigt's? Bastard!

I'm hoping when they crossed the line, after everyone rode Voigt's wheel for the last 2 km pretty much killing any chance he had of winning, Voigt turned to Vasseur and said something like this:

"Congratulations! Winning a stage in the Tour de France is almost as cool as wearing the yellow jersey! Oh, what? You've never done that? You really should. It's way cool. I mean, I've only worn it twice, but both times were really special.

Punk.

Don't ever ride my wheel like that again or I will gut you like a fish."

Some assorted Jens Voigt facts, which you may or may not know:

- When he rides, he hypes himself up by yelling "I'm freaking Jens Voigt!" Seriously.
- His bike doesn't move forward. He just pedals so hard, he stays in one place and the earth revolves underneath him. OK, I made that up. It just seems true.
- This is how big of a badass Voigt is: In 2004, he pulled up and let Ullrich pass him so he could let his captain Basso catch up. Then, he proceeded to catch Ullrich with Basso in tow. You do not fuck with Jens Voigt.
- He was taught to speak English by Australians. So he uses Australian slang. That makes him ten times cooler.
- He is the riders' representative on the UCI Council. So he's a badass off the course as well.


We love Voigt. I'm ticked he didn't win today's stage, but knowing Voigt... there's always tomorrow. Like he's ever going to stop attacking.