Rest day: An Interview With Bernard Hinault
Press credentials--Bah, humbug. We scored a chat with former Tour de France runner-up Bernard Hinault.
TGT: Thanks for taking the time to visit, Bernard.
BH: Please, call me Mr. Hinault.
TGT: Yesterday was a long-awaited stage. Now that the race has taken form with Contador seizing control, what you think?
BH: Well, it's no surprise to me, of course. I've known all along that Alberto Contador is the strongest man in the race. His performance yesterday merely confirmed what I knew to be the truth.
TGT: It was an impressive display.
BH: Perhaps it seems impressive to those who don't understand cycling, but I assure you, my prediction was really an obvious one for anyone with a depth of knowledge of the sport. People who were predicting otherwise just don't understand.
TGT: I was talking about Contador.
BH: Oh, yes. He's quite a talented rider, a true champion. He's really showing his form by overcoming the sabotage of his own team.
TGT: You are referring to Lance Armstrong?
BH: I thought you'd never ask. There's a certain cosmic justice that this fraudulent, doping phony champion is being humiliated before the world. Just what sort of ego must this man have to think he could return at his age and ride well.
TGT: But he's in second place.
BH: There is no reward for finishing second.
TGT: Actually, it's a couple hundred thousand Euros.
BH: Whatever. The lowlife is only in it for the money.
TGT: Back to your point about sabotage...do you really think Armstrong and team Astana have been trying to sabotage Contador? What evidence do you have.
BH: It's obvious. The way Armstrong took advantage of the strong winds in stage 3 to attack his teammate and overtake him in the standings was just classless. You don't attack your own teammate! It's unprofessional.
TGT: But didn't people say the same about you and Greg LeMond?
BH: I've forgiven LeMond. He was young and unsophisticated. The poor fool just didn't know better.
TGT: No, no, I mean when you attacked LeMond in the 1986 Tour.
BH: I was protecting him.
TGT: Um.
BH: He still hasn't thanked me.
TGT: Back to the topic of this Tour. Do you think Contador will hold on to the yellow jersey all the way to Paris?
BH: Probably. He's definitely the best climber. It's possible Armstrong might loosen the screws holding his bike together the time trial, or maybe throw a water bottle in his spokes to crash him on the Ventoux. Of course, he'd have to be close enough to reach him, and Armstrong has shown he's too weak for that. Aside from that, I see Contador overcoming the long odds of his own team to win the Tour.
TGT: It's very favorable that he'll become a two time Tour winner.
BH: A true champion, one of the finest ever. Perhaps the best in 24 years.
TGT: Who won 24 years ago?
BH: That's it, this interview is over.
TGT: Thanks for taking the time to visit, Bernard.
BH: Please, call me Mr. Hinault.
TGT: Yesterday was a long-awaited stage. Now that the race has taken form with Contador seizing control, what you think?
BH: Well, it's no surprise to me, of course. I've known all along that Alberto Contador is the strongest man in the race. His performance yesterday merely confirmed what I knew to be the truth.
TGT: It was an impressive display.
BH: Perhaps it seems impressive to those who don't understand cycling, but I assure you, my prediction was really an obvious one for anyone with a depth of knowledge of the sport. People who were predicting otherwise just don't understand.
TGT: I was talking about Contador.
BH: Oh, yes. He's quite a talented rider, a true champion. He's really showing his form by overcoming the sabotage of his own team.
TGT: You are referring to Lance Armstrong?
BH: I thought you'd never ask. There's a certain cosmic justice that this fraudulent, doping phony champion is being humiliated before the world. Just what sort of ego must this man have to think he could return at his age and ride well.
TGT: But he's in second place.
BH: There is no reward for finishing second.
TGT: Actually, it's a couple hundred thousand Euros.
BH: Whatever. The lowlife is only in it for the money.
TGT: Back to your point about sabotage...do you really think Armstrong and team Astana have been trying to sabotage Contador? What evidence do you have.
BH: It's obvious. The way Armstrong took advantage of the strong winds in stage 3 to attack his teammate and overtake him in the standings was just classless. You don't attack your own teammate! It's unprofessional.
TGT: But didn't people say the same about you and Greg LeMond?
BH: I've forgiven LeMond. He was young and unsophisticated. The poor fool just didn't know better.
TGT: No, no, I mean when you attacked LeMond in the 1986 Tour.
BH: I was protecting him.
TGT: Um.
BH: He still hasn't thanked me.
TGT: Back to the topic of this Tour. Do you think Contador will hold on to the yellow jersey all the way to Paris?
BH: Probably. He's definitely the best climber. It's possible Armstrong might loosen the screws holding his bike together the time trial, or maybe throw a water bottle in his spokes to crash him on the Ventoux. Of course, he'd have to be close enough to reach him, and Armstrong has shown he's too weak for that. Aside from that, I see Contador overcoming the long odds of his own team to win the Tour.
TGT: It's very favorable that he'll become a two time Tour winner.
BH: A true champion, one of the finest ever. Perhaps the best in 24 years.
TGT: Who won 24 years ago?
BH: That's it, this interview is over.
posted by uberschuck at 8:52 PM
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